Saturday, March 23, 2013

When the Honesty's Too Much

Last Saturday I wrote about the difficulty I was experiencing in completing a Life Writing class assignment about love. Since then I finished the assignment--though I wasn't very happy with my final results--and read it aloud in the next class. Here's the first paragraph of what I wrote:

"I learned of love through fairy tales. Like so many other girls of my generation, I believed that one day a handsome prince would ride into my life and rescue me from peril or monotony and that our love would be both immediate and everlasting."

After nearly three full pages of single-spaced typing, this was the last paragraph:

"I don't think I'm cynical about love. I still find pleasure in reading or listening to someone else's love story, especially if it has a happily-ever-after ending. I just don't believe in fairy tales anymore. Life has taught me to forget about princes. And the horses they rode in on."

Now, those of you who visit here regularly know how much I enjoy delving into past experiences and writing about them here, but you may have also noticed that only a handful of entries written over a seven-year period have anything at all to do with romantic relationships. That isn't by accident. There are issues of privacy, of course, but the main reason I don't write about those memories is that I don't like to think about them. In fact, I hardly ever do think about them. I haven't been particularly fortunate in the romance department and sometimes, though I almost never admit it, that makes me sad. Sometimes it just pisses me off.

Anyway, having submerged my head in those dark waters for the sake of the assignment, I'll tell you that this week's Saturday Song Selection became popular at a time when my second (and last and best) marriage was beginning to fray significantly around its edges. It's an accurate reflection of how I felt in those days, and it's a great song despite its unpleasant associations. I'll post it here, then I'll take a deep, cleansing breath, tuck the disappointments back into the deep pocket where they live, and count my many, many blessings.

The song is "Sometimes When We Touch" by Dan Hill.
Thanks to georgeallen35m for posting the video and lyrics on YouTube.


  1. Oh Linda! I've been coming here for many years and have thought for so many years that we are truly soul sisters for so much of what you say and feel just mirrors my own feelings. We are the same age and I believe we both are casualties of war....The Viet Nam War. I have always believed that everyone has a soul mate but, like you, I've never met mine. I think, with all my heart, that the war took him. I've married and had children but the marriage failed and my heart never sang. I mean no offense to my children, as you know, but I have always felt......... You know what I feel. I have become quiet and reserved; one who does not trust easily and my heart is protected by layers of common sense. No room for fairy tales anymore....although I do miss them.

  2. Val, I find it difficult to post anything that exposes my vulnerabilities, so I was touched by the fact that you jumped right in there beside me and flashed your own. I agree that you and I seem to have a lot in common, from trust issues to the music in our heads to not letting our "what-if" moments hold us down. Thanks for your comment.

  3. Maybe we all hope for the fairy tale and then learn to live with the disappointment . I sometimes think that is why most women and mothers make such a big deal over weddings. The bride is hoping for the fairy tale and the mother knows this is most likely all of it she will ever see.

  4. Writing My Novel, that's a very good point. I certainly can't think of any other reason to spend an astronomical amount of money on a wedding.


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