Have you seen the new TV series developed by the creators of "American Idol"? It's called "American Inventor," and I'm watching it with hope in my heart.
So far, they've only shown auditions, and I haven't seen anything I'm dying to own, but I'm keeping my eyes open for one product that I've been waiting for years for someone to invent. The thing I have in mind would attach to the back end of my car and, at the touch of a button, would hurl brightly colored paint pellets onto the hood of any vehicle that gets too close to my bumper.
Tailgaters drive me crazy! And in case you were wondering, I'm not one of those people who creep along way below the speed limit and force traffic to stack up behind them. After all, I am the daughter of Wanda June, yes, the Wanda June who was known on more than one occasion--in her seventies, no less--to drive like a bat out of hell in the Wal-Mart parking lot. So, no, I'm not responsible for the people who get so close I can count their freckles in my rearview mirror.
My opinion of people who drive like that is that (a) they're arrogant, pushy and too inconsiderate to care what they're doing; (b) they're sick and twisted and get an actual thrill by terrorizing people on the highway; or (c) they're too stupid to realize that their teeth will be embedded in my skull if I have to stop suddenly. In any of those cases, I think the AutoPaintLauncher would get their attention and help them to do the right thing.
I'm gonna keep watching this show. I sure hope somebody will make this for me.
Note: The Splatter graphic was borrowed from www.biblioteket.sonderborg.dk.