Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Calling all inventors

Have you seen the new TV series developed by the creators of "American Idol"? It's called "American Inventor," and I'm watching it with hope in my heart.

So far, they've only shown auditions, and I haven't seen anything I'm dying to own, but I'm keeping my eyes open for one product that I've been waiting for years for someone to invent. The thing I have in mind would attach to the back end of my car and, at the touch of a button, would hurl brightly colored paint pellets onto the hood of any vehicle that gets too close to my bumper.

Tailgaters drive me crazy! And in case you were wondering, I'm not one of those people who creep along way below the speed limit and force traffic to stack up behind them. After all, I am the daughter of Wanda June, yes, the Wanda June who was known on more than one occasion--in her seventies, no less--to drive like a bat out of hell in the Wal-Mart parking lot. So, no, I'm not responsible for the people who get so close I can count their freckles in my rearview mirror.

My opinion of people who drive like that is that (a) they're arrogant, pushy and too inconsiderate to care what they're doing; (b) they're sick and twisted and get an actual thrill by terrorizing people on the highway; or (c) they're too stupid to realize that their teeth will be embedded in my skull if I have to stop suddenly. In any of those cases, I think the AutoPaintLauncher would get their attention and help them to do the right thing.

I'm gonna keep watching this show. I sure hope somebody will make this for me.

Note: The Splatter graphic was borrowed from


  1. If they did people would stay away from you bumper, you mother sounds like a fast driver.

  2. i droped by your site and tried to comment on you last post and couldn't for some reason.Just wanted to say that that show is out of my league.

  3. Are you sure 'My Therapy Buddy' wouldn't do the trick for you? Everything's going to be alright...everything's going to be alright... ;)

  4. Carmon, I think you may be on to something with "My Therapy Buddy." Not only could he reassure me, but if I wrapped his long, blue arms around my neck and placed his body squarely in front of me, he could double as an airbag. And, if I continued to hold him that way after I stepped out of the car, he could help me to hold a football correctly. Do you think the judges would reconsider if "My Therapy Buddy" could tell me in Spanish and Swahili that everything is going to be all right?


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