Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Dancing with the Stars Shanna

Well, I am officially bummed out. Willa and Max were voted off of “Dancing with the Stars” tonight. Willa Ford, the “star” half of the duo, danced beautifully last night, and Max, her professional-dancer partner? Let’s just say Max put stars in my eyes.

Max is Maksim Chermerkovskiy. Even if I didn’t like to watch ballroom dancing, which I definitely do, I‘d have watched this show for Maksim-um exposure. So what if Social Security is lurking right around the corner? I’ve never met a woman of any age who didn't enjoy looking at a handsome man.

Max’s brooding good looks and hungry-lion dance moves make me want to pull out my old favorite romance novels –- the Kathleen E. Woodiwiss series, for example –- and reread them all, this time with a mental image of Max as the hero. Now that I look closely at those book jackets, every one of the guys in the cover art looks very much like Maksim.

My romance-novel phase ended about 20 years ago, so I don’t actually know if I’d like them as much now as I used to. In fact, last time I read one, I found myself skimming over all the pages that once would have caused me to linger. (Tip for readers of romance novels: The word “turgid” is a literary code word which, when it appears in a novel, signifies that the reader may safely skip the next two pages without missing any pivotal plot points.)

Still, it might be fun to fantasize. In real life, I’ve always thought my perfect mate would be the professor type, the quiet but confident, intelligent man in a tweed jacket with leather elbow patches. (Who knows? I might meet someone like that at the Social Security office.) But is there a little part of me that can appreciate a long-haired fancy man who wears patent-leather dancing shoes? As this photo (Miami Beach, 1971) clearly shows, you bet there is!




Disclaimer #1: Lest you think I'd gone totally wild, somewhere in the world is a matching photo of my then-husband on stage with the female half of the flamenco dance duo. We were picked from the audience to particpate in their floor show.

Disclaimer #2: I'd had absolutely nothing to drink but Coca-Cola.

Disclaimer #3: I NEVER -- not once -- let my dark roots grow that long without a touchup. It must have been a shadow.

18 comments:

  1. That is one HOT 1971 outfit momma, er I mean Velvet.

    Mmmmmmm...was that your stage name?

    (Not joking about the outfit, though! :D)

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  2. P.S. - Lose the drongo - he's no good for you! ;)

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  3. P.P.S. You look absolutely fabulous in the piccy, by the way! :)

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  4. whoo-hoo! You're the epitome of the swingin' 70s! I think TC is in love!

    What do you think of Jerry Springer?

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  5. Haha great photo Velvet! 'tis a shadow to..
    But luuuuv... uh hummmmmee HE is delicious, that smile and those eyes.
    hmmmm where's that isolated cabin and my vitamins? lol
    Sandy

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  6. you were really pretty but i think you still are.

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  7. TC, your enthusiasm made my day! If I weren't so old and fat, I'd have jumped up and down.;)

    Janet, the best part of the outfit doesn't show: Roman sandals with their long ties wrapped around my calves and tied just below the knee. (White, to match the macrame belt.) Try to do a flamenco dance in shoes like that sometime!

    And Jerry Springer? I've been pleasantly surprised. I HATE his show, but his self-effacing humor on DWTS has made me see a different side of him.

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  8. Sandy, wasn't he something? I remember saying to my husband, "You do what you want to, but I'm tellin' you right now, if he picks me, I'm goin' up there."

    Patsy, that's a really sweet thing to say, but my best bet these days is to work hard on developing a good personality.

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  9. Woohoo! ooh la la! Were those "hot pants"?

    Great picture, funny post.

    PS - I still say the mime was looking at YOU! ;-)

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  10. Sunflower, yes indeedy, those were hot pants. I liked the concept of hot pants for a couple of reasons: 1) They were dressier than plain old shorts, so we wore them with pantyhose, which nicely compressed any traces of cellulite. 2) Unlike the micro-miniskirts that were also popular at the time, we could dance all night in hot pants without worrying about flashing our undies.

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  11. Too cute that picture, Velvet, but to get back to books... I also gave up romance novels many years ago, but everything I know about sex I learned from The Flame and The Flower (hidden in math book so my mother couldn't see the cover). And Pap wants to know why I'm such a mess!

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  12. Kat, The Flame and the Flower? Then you know exactly what I meant by the "turgid" remark, don't you?

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  13. Holy crap! I don't know what you look like now but you were smokin' hot then!

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  14. Heh-heh, Rebekah...from "smokin' hot" to "burnt out" in the span of only 35 years.

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  15. You were hot mama! Also you are correct about that #3 disclaimer, I see the shadow right there, surely anyone could see that! I remember my first pair of hot pants, purple, yellow, red, and green patchwork design, and I wore them with purple tights, and white gogo boots, man I thought I was hot!

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  16. Schremsgems, thanks for backing me up on the shadow disclaimer. And your purple tights and white gogo boots? Waaaaaaay hot!

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  17. Velvet, I just knew you were wearing those Roman sandals-those were big back then! I wanted to be old enough to wear them, but of course by the time I could do them justice they were long out of style.

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  18. Janet, I'm thinking Roman sandals may have had some influence on the fall of the Roman Empire. It would have been hard for the Roman soldiers to fight off the barbarians while stopping frequently to pull up the straps of their sandals.

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