Friday, November 09, 2012

If You Say So

In reply to a comment on my last post, I mentioned that sometimes I "rein in" what I say or write about controversial topics. Those who know me well might be quick to point out that I haven't mastered the skill of self-censoring, but they're basing that opinion only on  what they've heard me say. They have no idea how much I've held back.

Anyway, it occurred to me as I wrote that reply that I've been struggling my whole life to decide when to speak out and when to hold my tongue. The last time I acknowledged that inner conflict may have been in a brief conversation with my grandmother when I was about ten years old:

Mammaw: "Linnie, why don't you sweep the porch?"

Me (remaining seated on the couch, comic book in hand): "If you want me to sweep the porch, just tell me to do it. You're the grown-up and I'm the kid, so I have to do what you say. But if you want to know why I don't sweep the porch, I can tell you."

After that, as I recall, I immediately jumped up and moved out the front door--out of range--where I swept the porch as if my life depended on it. Mammaw never asked my reasons for not wanting to sweep it, and I never again volunteered to explain them.

4 comments:

  1. Your first paragraph, I could have written myself...Many people that know me well feel I am outspoken....but there is a lot that I don't say....so many opinions and feelings kept to myself. I'm not sure why.
    Sandy

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  2. Sandy, the comedian Louis C.K. says he loves old ladies because "the filter comes off around 72." I'll get there way before you, so I'll let you know how that works for me.

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  3. I am almost your birthday twin, you lagged a little behind me.

    New to your blog, I like it. Seven Oaks was the name of the sub-division in Jonesboro GA where my late brother lived. I expect we have other coincidences.

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  4. Nell Jean, thanks for visiting. I've just popped over to view your blogs and found your beautiful plant and flower photos. I sometimes post flower photos, too, but the bad news is they're always other people's flowers.

    Pleased to meet you and hope you'll come back.

    ReplyDelete

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