Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Lunching on rocket fuel

I come home for lunch almost every day. It's a nice break from the office, but the driving time both ways leaves me only about 20 minutes to prepare and eat my food. That's why I was so happy to find a tasty brand of canned chili that takes only two minutes to microwave in it's own plastic can/bowl. It's good enough and fast enough that I have it at least a couple of times a week.

The first thing I do when I get in the house is let the dogs out. Then I put the chili in the microwave, turn on my computer, fix myself a Diet Coke on ice, let the dogs back in, give them a treat, and voila! Lunch is ready. I eat it at the computer while I read as many of your blog entries as I can during the time I have left.

Sometimes, while the chili cooks, I hear popping noises coming from the microwave. It's the beans, popping and exploding inside their covered microwavable bowl. Frankly, I'm glad they do that. They get that gas out of their bean-sized systems so there's no popping and exploding later, when the beans are in my system. The firecracker noises were especially loud today, but I was busy with the two-minutes' worth of chores I mentioned and didn't check the chili even once.

Wow! I should have checked it. The bowl of chili actually turned itself over inside the microwave. Nobody could have convinced me there was enough propulsive power in that bowl to tip over 15 ounces of chili, but there the bowl was, still covered, resting on its side in a big puddle of its own "blood." It must have put on quite a show.

So, two minutes of cooking time plus ten minutes of microwave cleanup left me with ten minutes to eat half a bowl of meat and beans. There wasn't enough juice left for dipping crackers. That's okay. I didn't have time to dip crackers anyway.


  1. Oh, poor Velvet! The worst part must have been cleaning out the microwave. . . you did clean out the microwave, right? LOL

  2. Sunflower, right now my microwave is the cleanest spot in the house.

  3. That would be a sight to see - or better yet, not to see.

    I'm intrigued though by your statement that when the beans pop in the microwave, they don't pop in you. Do you really think this releases the gas?

    My mother always cooks her beans with a carrot. She believes that a carrot soaks up or is an attraction for gas. She throws the carrot out and eats the beans and she believes the beans don't bother her as a result.

  4. Annie, to be honest, I never gave any thought to the science behind the exploding beans until right before I wrote that, and I don't know whether it's true or not. Based on my one-woman test group, though, there might be something to it.

  5. I learned my lesson-always watch the microwave. I burned a couple of dinner rolls literally to cinders-they were shooting off sparks by the time I came to see what smelled like it was burning, and I had to buy a new microwave.

  6. Thanks for your comments tonight.

    Blessed be...

  7. Will they ever invent self-cleaning microwaves?

  8. I come home for lunch every day too, mostly to let the dog out. What a mess for you! Chili is now on my suspect list.

  9. Oh Velvet! You described the mess in the microwave so well!

    I'm glad you got a bit of lunch, anyway. This has happened to me more times than I want to think about!

  10. "...on its side and sitting in its own blood..." lol Sorry your lunch got a little violent but it was fun reading it. That must have been one really hot chili! :-)

  11. Janet, how long were the rolls in the microwave to burn like that? I'm sorry, but the picture that creates in my head is pretty funny.

    Sleepless, you're welcome.

    Schremsgems, ooooh, wouldn't that be a handy invention!

    Kat, I can't give up my chili, but I sure will keep an eye on it from now on.

    Marion, I don't know what's worse, the things that boil over and spill onto the bottom of the microwave or the things that pop up and stick to the top and sides. I've had plenty of experience with both kinds of messes.


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