Friday, August 18, 2006

Cooking with Velvet

Dateline is on as I write this, and Stone Phillips is talking about how much responsibility the food industry should bear for the obesity epidemic in America. They're showing stacks of Oreos and close-ups of people taking huge bites out of Big Macs. Man, this is making me soooo hungry!

I agree that the food industry influences both children and adults to make poor diet choices, but I believe adults, at least, are responsible for their own choices. If I decide to shove fat-and-sugar-laden goodies in my mouth -- and pay somebody to let me do it -- I shouldn't be allowed to sue that somebody.

I do have to admit that there are a lot more choices to tempt children now than there used to be. When my sister and I were kids, we managed to get pocket money a couple of times a week to spend on comic books, candy or ice cream (although the ice cream purchases didn't always work out). Most of the time, though, we made snacks with whatever was available at home.

So, in the interest of encouraging healthier eating, I thought I'd post recipes for a couple of snacks that my sister and I made over and over. The first one was our favorite:

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Mustard Sandwich

2 slices fresh white bread
1-1/2 teaspoons yellow mustard

Spread mustard on one slice of white bread, being careful not to get any on the crust.

Place the second slice of white bread on top of the mustard.

Wipe a clean spot on the kitchen counter and place the sandwich on that clean spot. Climb up on the counter and sit on the sandwich, wiggling back and forth until sandwich is paper thin. (NOTE: Final step of preparation should be performed by oldest, heaviest child.)

* * * * * * * * * *

Pickle Sandwich

1 large sweet gherkin
1 slice white bread

Dry pickle thoroughly (under your armpit is a good place, if your shirt isn't too dirty).

Place pickle at one edge of white bread and roll, jelly roll style, squeezing bread tightly around pickle as you roll.

Finished sandwich should look like a greyish-white cylinder with a puffy bread-crust pinwheel at each end.


* * * * * * * * * *

Okay, that's all the food talk I can stand right now. I'm goin' to Mickey D's or Sonic (depending on whether or not traffic allows me to cross to the McDonald's side of the road).


  1. You should have your own cooking show. I'm tired of Emeril!

  2. LOL - eweeeeee! Sounds like my mom, she used to love to make baked bean sandwiches. Told us that her mom always had fresh homade bread and a big pot of beans around when she was a kid! By the way, my dad likes mustard sandwiches too, he uses weber's horsradish mustard. Never did try one though!

  3. And then there's what happens when you pass the "fun with food" gene down to your kids:

    1. Go into the kitchen with your sister.

    2. Mix oatmeal, sugar and water until a thick paste is formed.

    3. Add LOTS of blue food coloring.

    4. Drop by spoonfuls onto Velvet's waffle iron, ruining it forever when the gluey oatmeal paste gets down into the crevices and sticks like mortar.

    5. Taste the finished "cookies," giggling and making exaggerated gagging noises. Throw them all away and go outside to play, leaving mess and broken waffle iron.

  4. I'll share with you my favorite Sonic treat. Diet Coke with vanilla syrup. Tastes nothing like that crap in the bottle. Heaven!

    We did ketchup sammiches or tater chip sammiches.

    Shame on you for making me hungry for crap! I'm supposed to be losing weight so I don't look like Shamu (an all white Shamu) in my wedding dress!!

  5. Hahaha oh loved those receipes Velvet, especially the wiggle preparation. As Janet says, you should have your own show. :-)

  6. Janet, BAM!! So, whaddaya think?

    Debi, I'd kind of given up on mustard sandwiches, but my mature, sophisticated palate might still like them if I'd use horseradish mustard.

    And Kim...ah, yes. I'd forgotten about the blue food coloring until you mentioned it, but I do remember the oatmeal glue cookies that took down the waffle iron. Was that before or after the disastrous dish you created with the two cans of pie cherries? LOL! I have to give you credit, though; you're a good cook now.

    Rebekah, thanks for the vanilla Diet Coke tip; I'll try it. Have you ever put a layer of potato chips on a pimiento cheese sandwich? VERY good stuff. And it's admirable that you're trying to lose weight for your wedding, but don't fret too much about it. You can always just tell Vandy you want him to have a "whale of a good time" on the honeymoon.

    Sandy, the good news/bad news situation is that I wouldn't even have to wiggle these days. With this butt and these thighs, I could flatten sandwiches for four with one good bounce.

  7. me and my family all have a weight problem except one sister. i will tell the truth we didn't over eat when we were children. we didn't eat snaks. truth is we never had enouth to eat. when we got where we had food we started gaining and never stopped. one sister has remained fairly slim but HAS NEVER HAD ALL SHE WANTED TO EAT. the other sister has ate all she wanted and stayed slim. the rest balloned . i think it has to do with genes in our case.mustard was one of the few things we usally had because my father liked it. one brother would eat it out of the jar. now that is hungry.

  8. Mustard sandwiches MUST be toasted! I thought everyone knew that!!! LOL!!

    Don't forget the lettuce sandwich. Really good with just the right amount of mayo and salt.


  9. Banana sandwiches were a favourite of mine.

    But I could just not get to grips with the SUGAR sandwiches my cousins used to eat.


  10. Patsy, I know I make bad food choices sometimes, but I believe there's a genetic factor, too. I used to work with a skinny guy whose lunch was always more than twice as big as mine. That seemed totally unfair.

    Priss, they should be TOASTED? But then wouldn't they break when you sit on them?

    TC, I never thought about a banana sandwich, but I've eaten my share of sugar ones. They taste pretty good, but it sure is hard to keep all the sugar inside the bread.

  11. my sis fleta has always been slim. one day mother was visiting me and she said' I GOT TO GO HOME FLETA IS OFF WORK AND IF I AM NOT THERE SHE WILL EAT EVERTHING IN THE FRIDGE! i just laughted and laughted. skinny fleta ate more than any of us.


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